WE'RE NOT DESTINY

[Your POV]

I look at him sadly as I saw his gloomy face.

He is always like that. Like an EMO. Always on a corner sitting while hugging his knees.

Crying in any minute and without or unknown reason. He barely talks.

He doesn't want to go anywhere, just in our house.

"Hyorin-ah", he said as tears starts to fall on his cheeks.

I walk towards him. "Jeongmin, gwaenchana?", I asked worriedly as I hold his hands.

I felt he tried to put his hand away from me and keep on saying "Hyorin-ah~".

I sit next to him. It hurts me seeing him like that. He always thinks about Hyorin. Why it can't be me?

Oh, I'm sorry. I bet you didn't know our past life with Hyorin, right ?

Jeongmin,Hyorin and I were best of friends.

We just live in one place. That is what we planned after graduating on high/middle school.

We are always get together. We are always happy. Even though Jeongmin was the only guy in our friendship/group, no uncomfortable feelings happened in us.

But one ordinary day broke my heart.

I've got doubt that there is something were in the two. Not a friendship anymore, but deeper than that.

Then one time, I caught them kissing.

I was just got home from a store on that time. It breaks my heart. Really breaks my heart.

I'm in love with Jeongmin since we get to be friends. He is my dream and ideal boy since before.

I never confess my feelings to him as I was so afraid that it might ruin our beautiful friendship.

I decided to hide my feelings, especially when the time comes that Hyorin and Jeongmin already admitted that there is something on them.

That they are secretly in a relationship.

I always cry on night before I went to sleep. I'm really heartbroken. Why it can't be me ?

Months passed and I try to act that I wasn't hurt. That I'm really agree on their relationship. That I'm really...happy for them.

All their happy moments got nonsense in all of a sudden when HyoRin died.

She died because she raped and killed by her ex-boyfriend.

I felt sad for my very best friend.She is a real friend to me.Even though she is like a rival when it comes to Jeongmin's heart, I really love her as my unnie.

How cruel that guy who raped and killed my best friend? Just wait, I'LL KILL YOU !!!

On that day, when HyoRin died. Jeongmin change. REALLY CHANGE. He somewhat become a loner.

I try to do anything to get him back to his normal attitude. The normal Jeongmin that always smile and made some lame jokes that he is the only one who will laugh. His cute eye-smiles that I never seen for a long time. That 'buing-buing' that he always do if he wants me to treat or buy him something.

I never see those things anymore...

=========================

"Jeongmin-ah, let's eat now", I said as I placed three plates on the table.

Well, Three plates as Jeongmin ordered me. He always want to lend/save a plate for Hyorin even she is already dead.

He was on the corner and looking blankly to a space.

"Jeongmin",  I called him again and decided to walk towards him.

"Jeongmin, you need to eat", I said as I bent down since he was sitting.

He finally stood up and went to his seat.

"Jeongmin-ah, let's go to the mall later ?", I asked and he shook his head. I frowned.tsk.

"How about in the park?", I asked. This time he nod slowly.

=========================

 I sit on the green grass at the park and feel the air on my face.

I smile as I feel like I'm in heaven. It's so fresh~

I look at him. Actually, I caught him staring at me. I just smile but his reply was just a 'looked-away'.

I sigh sadly. *I know you can't love me the way you love Hyorin, but can you act that you love me deeper than bestfriends? Just act one day. Please?* I thought hopefully.

Just then, a hand hold me. I look at my hand to see Jeongmin is holding my hand.

I feel like I'm flying right now. Flying even without wings.

"Jeongmin-ah, do you still love Hyorin?", I ask an idiot question. Of course he still love her. It's obvious. :"<

He just gave me a small smile and he looked-up in the sky.

[End of POV]

[Jeongmin's POV]

I.Want.To.Move.On.

That's what I want but you know what..?

I.Can't.

I can't since Hyorin is my first love, my first girlfriend, first kiss and etc.

First Love really never dies ~

I was trying but it's just ending on missing her more.

A thing comes to my mind,

Should I use SoYeon so I can forget her?

Well, it's not bad, right ?

I mean we've been friends since middle school. I've known Soyeon for long.

What do you think?

[End of POV]

Months passed and it seems Jeongmin was going back to normal.

He is smiling, cheerful at sometimes and cracking jokes again.A still lame one.

"You know what? I miss this.", you said as both of you were in the sofa.

"What do you mean 'this'?", he asked.

"This! We're happy chit-chatting.We're in normal again", you smile and he smile back.

"yeah, I miss this too. We're happy together",he said and look at the TV and watch.

You look at him. Your heart thump so loud.

*Am I dreaming? Did he just said 'happy together'?* you thought.

You smile before to turn your gaze on the TV.

"Soyeon-ah, thanks", he thanked. You look at him with your narrowed eyebrows.

"Thanks for what?", you asked.

"For your hard-work.I know you suffer because of me. You are trying your best just to be on my side when I missed her. You are the one who always take care of me when I cry, you help me to move on", Jeongmin smile and look into your eyes.

"I really thank you~", he added.

That suddenly made you blush. You felt your so flutter by his words.

In your surprise, he lock his lips onto yours without any words.

You are in shocked but you kissed him back.

As you broke the kiss a curve on your lips was formed.

He soon, went to his room as you just left on the sofa still remembering what had just happened a while ago.

You can't believe. He kissed you.

Your eyes got tired because of watching TV for almost 3 hours.

So you get dress-up to your pajamas and prepare for sleep. Before you enter on your room, you check Jeongmin for a while.

You swing the door slowly.Really slow.You just take a peek and decided not to enter on his room.

He was not on his bed, so you got worried.

You look around on his room to find he was on the floor sitting while his head was leaning on the wall.

"Why I can't forget you?", he spoke suddenly.

He was holding a frame or picture.He was talking to it.

"HyoRin-ah, why I can't forget you", he cried.

You just stare at him, still peeking on his room and eavesdropping while he is talking.

"I already use Soyeon to forget you!", he continue to talk to the picture of HyoRin.

Your tears fall down as you heard him saying that.

"Why are you doing this to me?", he throw the picture on his bed and lower his head.

"Why I still love you?", his last sentence made your heart fall into pieces.

You clutch your chest as you feel your chest was really hurting.

You close the door and sit on your track which is in front of Jeongmin's door.

Reality, hit your head.

*So he just use me so he can forget Hyorin?*you thought.

Your tears fall down continuously.

*Jeongmin, you never fail to broke my heart* you thought sadly.

"S-soyeon-ah", Jeongmin shocked as he saw you crying silently in front of his door.

You stood up directly and slap him.

"Don't you ever use me again", you said and went to your room.

Jeongmin knock your door non-stop as he was saying 'he was about to say something'

You ignore all he said. In this time, you don't have the trust in him anymore.

Jeongmin got tired knocking your door and just decided to sleep in front of your door instead.

You washed up quickly, change your clothes and put your stuffs and other clothes on a luggage after you wake up the next morning.

"w-where a-are you going?", Jeongmin suddenly awaken when he heard you open the door.

You ignore him and went outside your house.

"YAH! Don't leave me here SoYeon-ah!", he yelled and run, following you.

"Soyeon-ah!", he grab your hand.

"Soyeon, I'm sorry.Don't go away. I already lost Hyorin...please stop trying to go away from me. I can't loose you", he said begging.

"WAE? is it because you already don't have anyone that you can use ? you can use to forget her ? how could you do this to me Jeongmin?! You use me just to forget her? Your cruel as the guy who raped her!", you yelled as tears falls on your cheeks.

"You deserve to lost everything that you have", you said and left.

"Soyeon-ah..."

[Jeongmin's POV]

She run away and with that she left me too. Just like Hyorin.

She run as fast as she could (while me trying to chase her) and she was on the street already.

Sadly and painfully, she bang-ed hard on a high speed car.

I cried as I saw her body that full of blood. The streets were almost covered by her blood. (okay, exaggeration ><)

I try to save her life.

NO, Soyeon can't leave me. She was the only one that is still on me.

She is the only girl who really on my side as always when I get sad.

I try to do anything so I can take her to the hospital in the fastest way...

But the doctor said...

She was already DEAD.ON.ARRIVAL

I cried loudly as the doctor said that statement.

I felt pain in my chest and can't take anymore that's why I just let out my emotion on crying.

I get to see her dead body. I touch her face. It was cold now and pale.

I have nothing to do but hug her.

REGRET was on my mind and heart.PAIN was on my whole body.

Who will be my strength now to be still alive on this world ?

Why I did that ? Why I used you instead of loving you in real ?

I kiss her cold-pale lips for the last time but I can't stop my tears to fall down.

Why I realize just now...?

Why I realize just now that I already love you ?

Why I realize just now that you're the one I love ?